Advice

Years ago I was contracted by Apple Computer to do a series of seminars in Japan, and they paid an expert (Dianne Saphiere, if you’re out there, take a bow) to help me with some cross-cultural fine tuning.

One of the lessons Dianne taught me was the power of silence.

In Japan, she said, a long pause during a negotiation was traditionally can a sign of respect. It was a way to show that the matter is important and the proposal just made is worthy of thought.

To Americans, on the other hand, a long pause during a negotiation is an awkward silence. The longer the silence, the more uncomfortable it becomes.

Imagine a conference room in Tokyo. A team of Americans are negotiating a deal with a team of Japanese. “We can do that for $100,000,” the Americans say. The Japanese say nothing. They wait in silence for two minutes.

“How about $90,000?” The Americans broke the silence by lowering the price. The Japanese were going to say yes to $100,000.

This lesson taught me the power of silence, I’ve seen it work many times in many different contexts, aside from the American and Japanese encounter. For example, waiting before responding isn’t a bad thing to do in any dialogue anywhere. Who knows, reflecting first on what you’re about to say might actually be a good thing, right? And in a negotiation context, silence can be awkward to one side and golden to the other.

(posted on Small Business Trends July 6, 2011)

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